Self-love is defined as appreciating yourself and develops from taking actions that nurture your spiritual, psychological and physical wellbeing. When we don’t treat ourselves with love and instead prioritise the demands of others, we can become resentful or our value, self-worth and self-esteem can become impacted.
Below, we each share our number one piece of advice to help you truly feel more self-love and live the life you’re worthy of.
Petra: “Treat yourself with love and kindness.”
To truly feel self-love, you first need to treat yourself with kindness. Mentally tell yourself how much you love yourself, then move into small actions that show you appreciate yourself.
Unfortunately, many of us have been conditioned by society to put our own needs last. Mothers and fathers are particularly prone to this behaviour. But if you are not growing spiritually and are not prioritising health and wellness, how can you be there for others?
As women, we should love ourselves unconditionally and endlessly. Tapping into the feminine energy will help you heal physically and emotionally, and help you heal others too.
Day after day, look for more ways to love yourself. Shower yourself with love by appreciating all the things you can do well. Allow yourself little treats that make you feel good. They don’t have to be expensive. Your pleasure can be as simple as quietly enjoying a beverage while watching the sunset.
Talk to yourself in a loving voice, just as you would like other people to talk to you. Some days you will feel ashamed, lonely, guilty and that’s when you have to step up and be there for yourself in any and every way you can.
Guy: “Condition the body to feel love.”
From a body perspective, we need to take actions of self-love because they release chemicals in our brains that make us feel good. Endorphins are called the ‘happiness hormones’ and by being kind to ourselves, dopamine, also released in our brains, gives a sense of euphoria.
If we don’t take action and send those loving signals to our brains, the body forgets what love feels like and shuts down the production of endorphins and dopamine. People who don’t feel self-love find loving feelings or actions from another person quite foreign.
Has it happened to you that you go to hug someone, and they just don’t react? It’s not because there is something wrong with you. It is because loving feelings are foreign to that person, and their body doesn’t really know how to react.
To build self-love, go and do things that make you feel joy.
It might be climbing a mountain, swimming in a pool at the base of a waterfall, snorkelling on a tropical coral reef, the wind in your hair on a motorbike, or doing yoga. Whatever makes you happy, find time to do it. Find something you loved as a kid and see if you can ignite that spark again as an adult. Start training your body to get addicted to the endorphins – those happiness hormones will take you a long way towards feeling self-love.
Matt: “Take baby steps on your journey to self-love.”
I’m reminded of the story of people in deserts who have been without water for days. When they do find water, they have to sip it slowly. If they downed three litres of water, they would just throw it up. Similarly, your body needs to get used to self-love, and the endorphins will ease into production.
Pick one thing you can do each day to signify self-love, and then do it. Don’t overwhelm yourself; otherwise, you may retreat and disengage from yourself. Build up your tolerance to self-love slowly so it becomes a habit.
If you’re struggling with self-love and would like to hear from us personally, find out more about our upcoming programs here.
Guy, Petra, Matt